Losing the Mojo.

It's Monday... rainy Monday .... I'm not feeling it... i want to be snuggled in bed. .... all alone..

I have been feeling me some solitude lately... well.... more so wanting more Mallory/ Mommy time than anything... when shes not with me i don't even care to be around anyone. Society as a whole sucks. ...it's just a fact...
I have been neglectful in my blogging skills for a while... but i aim to get back on track... even if no one ever reads it... i like to look back and see what all has been going on....


:)
till next time.
-A

Friday Fun

well... it's that time again...
FRIDAY ..
pre-weekend.. post-workweek
a little breath of fresh air.

today i have more on my mind than normal.

I have seen my sweet Bug a total of one hour since this past saturday... and my heart feels like it's been ripped to shreds. I know that for some people this is "the norm" ... and I shouldnt be "complaining" but this is my feelings .. and what i feel is well, what i feel... I have been trying my best to be "fair" in this whole situation.. but as every day passes ...fairness seems to be less of an issue. The real issue, in my opinion, is the  well-being of my lil girl. Next week we are going for mediation ..one more time.. and hopefully we can come to some sort of agreement on what's best for Mallory.

Second topic.... weight.

I have been struggling with my weight since junior high... and have never really felt " okay" with my body.. I chock this up to social pressure to be skinny and have that "perfect" figure combined with a few negative people who have always seemed to hit me hardest when I'm down.  I have been doing better about gym attendance.. My good friend April and i have been trying to go on our lunch hour... and we've done fairly good so far.. only missing days where we had family stuff going on...

...


i took a pause break and went to the gym.. lol great workout.. but im not feeling chatty now.. bleh.. lol
hope everyone has a great weekend :)

happy reading
-a

Memorializing & dream deciphering.

Memorial Day is here.

Most people get the day off.. but not me. I am stuck at work. Don't get me wrong.. I am blessed to have a job.. but I would rather be sunbathing.. or cleaning.. or spending time with my family and friends. I thank God for all the veterans who have served in the armed forces and the ones still serving today.

Different route of conversation... night before last i had a terrifying dream. It was of a real life even that happened a little over a year ago. It was like a memory within a dream.. It was basically a flashback... of a friend dying.. losing a lover ... being hurt . I woke up crying and it was the worst feeling I've had in a very long time. I wish we knew the meaning behind occurrences like this.  I have not been able to stop thinking about it ever since. ... but what does it mean?


any comments or suggestions are welcomed.

till next time
-a :)

Rainy Mondays

well, it has been unusually rainy and dreary today... much like my mood.  I try to be as positive as possible on Monday.. but every other Monday sucks even worse than a regular Monday. I won't have my bug tonight.. and that always makes my day bad. I miss her something fierce ..like I've lost part of who i am for the day.  I am getting teary-eyed just talking about it. ...

On a different note.. I start nursing school in August! I am super excited to be bettering myself and working towards stabilizing a financial stronghold for my family.  It also excites me to be able to work with the public again! I have discovered this is a passion of mine. I thoroughly enjoy helping others.. and have learned that kind of self gratification is priceless.

I have been trying to practice portion control as well as trying o be more active.i have lost about 8 pounds since the 8th and i feel like that's a pretty good start. ...

i will try to post more frequently . i have a million things to say every day.. but i have been slack about taking time to write them down.

Happy Monday !
-Amanda grace :)

Thrifty Thursday.

sooo... today the search is on for a laptop... i need one badly for School and i cant continue to put it off.... ...

sn: i am still pinteresting wedding ideas... bc even if we arent getting married right away i still love looking at the stuff... puts me in a groovy mood.lol

im sure i may post twice today ...but i need ta get some work done.. :)

good day too you all.

-a

Hungry

The title to this Blog says it all..

I am trying to cut back and count Calories .. I downloaded this new app on my phone called "lose it" & i have been keeping track of what im eating...

the good thing is .. im significantly under my caloric intake for today.. but i feel like ive eaten all day.. and I seemed to have an insatiable appatie.. :(

i have tried to sidetrack myself... but its not working to good...



Different note.... I have been looking a pinterest all day too so im sure that hasnt helped my hunger pains or my wedding wishes.. lol  ( maybe Juneish)


eh.. i reckon i better go for now...

talk soon ?
-a

Blog? 
I think Blogging would be good therapy for me right about now. I have too much to say and not enough energy to say it all.. and to top it off not enough ears to listen. 

.....

well.. here i go . 
:) talk to you soon!

-a